I often ponder things that may never affect me, ever. Such questioning thus leads to the topic of crime scene evidence. Well, I don’t know. You tell me. I have several questions like where is the stuff stored and who manages it on a local, national and global level? Are legal items ever returned to their owners? Will Johnny ever get his treasured pocket knife back that his uncle seized to stab his cheating girlfriend with? If not returned, how long are things kept? Forever? Is there a giant, ever-growing stash of marijuana sitting at my local police station or in some storage shed that only two people have the keys to? Imagine the Storage Wars episode for that! Or is crime scene evidence burned after x amount of years causing hundreds of seagulls to seesaw through the sky and crave feverishly for human-made Cheetos and pizzas? From the TV series Cops, I recall law enforcement shining bright lights on offenders and telling them to “Drop your weapon and put your hands up!” Just like that. Well, those items ended up in zip lock baggies and only privileged people wearing latex gloves could pull them out for further examination. But then what? I haven’t the slightest clue. You’ve just read 200 words of babble (see topic category) with no answers or resolutions. But, if I find anything out, the wordpress world will be sure to hear.

Due to an overdue and long vacation of seeing friends, family and celebrating the 4th, I am terribly behind on movie reviews. Therefore, this post shall be condensed and shortened like the microwaved version of your favorite dish.

Film: Iron Man 3 Director: Shane Black Viewed: 5.16.13

ironman3 via google

Not bad. I watched an action film! Why am I shouting this you ask? Because I typically loathe action films especially ones chock full with superhero one-liners, dainty damsels in distress and cliche plots. It’s sort of complicated. My childhood urges brings me to the ticket counter, and my adulthood skepticism drags me through until the credits roll out. Nonetheless, it would be a lie if I didn’t state that Iron Man 3 was fun and entertaining through its’ entirety. Robert Downey Jr.’s acting chops along with the cute kid yanked some giggles out of memore than once. However, in my opinion, the most enjoyable character was the false villain portrayed by Ben Kingsley as “The Mandarin.” As for the plot, well… you know what happens. All in all for a superhero action film, it wasn’t bad. I give it a 7 out of 10.

Film: The Great Gatsby Director: Baz Luhrman Viewed: 5.18.13

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Meehhh. This is the sound I made right after watching Great Gatsby. The expectations were high due to word from several sources (some credible) and perhaps, too high to be fulfilled even by Leo’s illustrious baby blues. Point is, I wanted to enjoy this movie but instead was distracted by the constant glitz & glam, Vietnam flashbacks of Romeo & Juliet, clashing music and a consistent lack of emotion for any of the characters. I kept asking myself, “Why don’t I give a damn about any of these people?” Oh that’s right, Baz does not allow for things like elusiveness, suspense, multi-faceted characters or God forbid, a relatable story to happen. Rather, he gets Tobey Maguire to tell you how you’re supposed to feel. And what a let down of a narrating voice that was. As for acting, DiCaprio is wonderful in his role as Gatsby (even though the Tobes told me to say that). I can clearly recall feeling honest moments in the film twice. The first came in the form of a chuckle when Gatsby was nervous about reuniting with Daisy and clumsily knocks over Nick’s clock on the mantle and secondly, when Daisy’s arrogant husband Tom confronts Gatsby about his scheming ways. That’s it. Deserving-ly so, this film racks up a mere 6 out of 10.

Film: Monsters University Director: Dan Scanlon Viewed: 7.6.13

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Seriously fun. If could bet on Pixar like a 9 on a roulette board, odds are I’d be filthy rich. The people at Pixar know exactly what to do and how to do it well. Speaking as an adult in a kid filled theater, I can, without hesitation, confirm that I enjoyed the movie and laughed at the same parts as much as any snotty nosed 8 year old did. Though the concept is the same as Monsters Inc., it was really fun to transition to MIke’s and Sulley’s earlier years as students yearning to become potential “scarers” at the prestigious Monsters University. While attending they end up joining a fraternity compiled of a band of misfits, one of them voice acted by Charlie Day (who is hilarious on his line deliveries)! Each of them learn to accept their flaws and turn them into advantages. With lessons to be learned and cuteness to be awed at, Monsters University is a hit. That being said, it was a continuum of it’s sequel and fresh material/ premises were undeniably lacking. I give it a cheerful 8 out of 10.

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